Could You Do This?
Have you ever had to manage or lead people? If you haven’t, you may not realize that it’s a lot harder than it looks. But even seasoned leaders might tremble at the situation you will read about today.
She would be outnumbered 64 to 1. And it was her first leadership assignment! Yet she had no fear. Rather, she felt excitement, interest, and challenge. Those feelings helped her focus her problem-solving skills to come up with creative solutions that she would need starting on Day One.
Then it started. 64 people, whom she had never met, walked noisily into her room. They began to wander around aimlessly, not knowing what to do, where to go, or what was expected of them. It was her job to manage them. No. Not just manage. She was expected to develop them, to be in charge of their learning.
Her charges were 64 first graders. (A class size of 64 would seem huge today, but in those days, it was not that unusual.)
The school had no kindergarten, so not only was this her first assignment, this was their very first day of school ever. It was like facing 64 wolf 
pups. And she herself was only twenty-one years old.
First Things First: As a first-grade teacher, she was naturally expected to teach her students reading, writing, arithmetic, and so forth. But initially, she didn’t even try. She knew that before she could teach, she first had to establish control. Remember, she was outnumbered 64 to 1. And she wasn’t what you would call an imposing figure. At 5 feet 1 inch, with a slim build and a quiet voice, she was in no position to coerce these children into behaving. Coercion didn’t fit her personality anyway.
Instead of attempting to instill fear, she instilled interest, caring, and belonging. She knew intuitively that her task was to get those 64 uncivilized six-year-olds to want to cooperate, and for that desire to come from within them. With that in mind, she spent the first few weeks teaching them how to be cooperative members of a group.
What did she have going for her? Lots of things.
First, she was the oldest of six children. She loved playing with and helping to take care of her younger siblings. Thus, she had experience with little kids, and, what was perhaps more important, she genuinely liked them. Second, children, left to their own devices, love to learn. And she loved helping kids learn. Third, she knew that when children feel liked and loved, they are prone to respond in kind. A law of behavior says: “You get what you give.” Fourth, children, like adults, need to belong. She helped them become a group, to have a group identity as a class.
So how did she manage to accomplish her goal? Here is a hint: One way a group becomes a group is to develop a shared private language, sometimes expressed in words and sometimes in behavior. (Every long-term couple you know has code words and phrases that have a special private meaning to each partner. No explanation needed.)
Children love to be in on secrets. She taught the children secret signals that belonged just to them and their classmates. These secret signals 
accomplished two additional things. First, they let the children know when it was time to attend to various tasks, like getting a book out, lining up for lunch, or getting ready to go home. Second, the signals she used were subtle. To signal it was time to take out their readers, for example, she stood in a particular spot. When puzzle time was over, holding her finger to her chin was all it took for the children to get up and take their puzzles over to the shelves by the windows and put them away neatly and quietly. If it was time to line up for lunch, she held one arm in a special way. Suddenly, the children were in line. Using these subtle, silent signals meant that her students had to watch her carefully to be in on the secret! No words needed. They followed her carefully.
One day, the principal came to observe the class, as principals do. Our twenty-one-year-old teacher (leader) didn’t flinch. When it came time for the children to move from one activity to the next, she went to stand in the magic spot. Without a word from her, the children, all 64 of them, got up as one and moved quickly and silently to the next activity. The principal, astounded at the quiet, cheerful behavior, asked “How did you do that?!” But our heroine had her secrets, shared only with her students.
Here is the really cool part! One day, when our teacher was asked to do double duty (another frequent occurrence in those days), getting both her class and the other first grade class across the hall ready for dismissal, something happened that amazed even the teacher.
The class across the hall hadn’t learned any secret signals, so they required constant monitoring and directing to get ready. And this was in the dead of winter, so there were snowsuits and boots and hats and scarfs and mittens to be managed. The teacher didn’t hear a peep from her own classroom, which was a relief, because she had to spend most of her time with the class across the way. At least her kids were being quiet!
Finally, she darted across the hall to get her own class ready, only to find them sitting quietly at their desks with hands folded, all dressed in their snowsuits, big smiles on their faces. They had seen the yellow buses lining up outside their classroom, and they knew just what to do. They couldn’t wait to surprise her!
Our heroine, having first established ways of leading her students, had a highly successful year helping them discover the joys of learning. In 
fact, several years later, she learned that her students, now sixth graders, had scored the second highest of any class in the state in standardized reading tests.
What can we learn from this story?
- Relationships built on trust and caring are more powerful than relationships built on fear.
- Emotional expressions Our teacher naturally showed her pleasure when her students learned and used the “secret signals.” Her students valued the data her smiles and warmth provided.
- Empathy Our heroine knew that her students were going to be scared as they came into a new situation. She reduced that fear by helping them learn how to succeed.
- Empathy Our heroine knew her students wanted to belong, so she gave them fun ways to do so.
- Self-Regard This teacher was in a brand-new situation for her too. But she trusted herself, trusted that she would find a way to succeed.
- Flexibility The school system would never have sanctioned this teacher’s approach. Chalk throwing, yelling, humiliation, or a rap on the knuckles were accepted modes of discipline in those days, not fun secret signals. Fortunately, she knew better than “the system.” She brought a flexible mindset so that she could accomplish what the system really wanted, even if she didn’t use the “recommended methods.”
A Little Book to Save Humanity helps its readers learn how to use these and other EQ skills that are the foundation for success in pretty much every human endeavor. Who knows? You might even find some secret signals. You can find The Little Book at https://theeqpress.com
