Sunk Cost, and Other Barriers to Change

Clients hire coaches to help them change the way they do things. Then those same clients often turn around and fight their coaches, seemingly at every step of the way. What gives? Experienced coaches, especially those who were once therapists, know that such resistance is simply part of the change process. While you may be frustrated at times by a client’s seeming stubbornness, it helps to know that resistance to change is normal, and that working through that resistance will be necessary for eventual change to last. Why is resistance normal? Think about it. If the asked-for changes are to occur, your clients will have to give up something that has worked for them. Initially it had value, or seemed to, or they would not have adopted it. So, there will be some grieving to be done, and some disentanglement. Be patient. It isn’t a reflection on you. Resistance takes…

Don’t Rush It

Here is the last of my seven secrets for bringing a successful EQ coaching program to your client organizations: Help decision makers understand what is realistically required so that you can deliver the results they’ve hired you to deliver. Make sure they understand that sustainable behavior change takes time. Give it time. Behavior change is hard. Behavior develops over time as the result of experiments we all perform to discover what works. Once we think we’ve nailed it, we hate to give up what we’ve learned. The behavior of leaders in your client organizations has evolved in the same way that the rest of ours has. We have all been learning how to relate to the world since the day we were born. We asked for things before we even had the words to do so (maybe by smiling and being charming and adorable, maybe by crying and making a…